Current music: One night in Bangkok by The Robocop Kraus
Thailand Chapter 3
After our day of snorkeling and hiking on Phi Phi, it was time to head to Lanta. We got up early, packed all of our shit, and thankfully headed down the stairs for the last time. We hopped in a taxi boat and went to the harbor to catch our ferry to Lanta. All three of us slept on the ride over, which took about an hour and a half.
Once on Lanta, we headed to our hotel, which was a very nice resort about a block away from the beach. Part of our deposit went to a Christmas buffet dinner, which everyone staying in the hotel had to pay for. But that's later. We had a gorgeous room, and the hotel had a pool, which was awesome. For the first couple of hours, we all lazed around by the pool, and then Jane and I went exploring.
I have to say that I enjoyed Lanta so much more than Phi Phi. It provided a lot more of an authentic Thailand experience. With fewer tourists and beaches that were just as amazing as Phi Phi, Lanta was less crowded and seemed much more genuine. We first went for a walk around the beaches and went exploring around some of the town.
Current music: Sway by Heartless Bastards
There were resorts and restaurants lining the beach, just like on Phi Phi, but they were much quieter. We had dinner at one of the restaurants and had a really good sleep. We got up the next morning and were not sure how we were going to spend our day. After a few hours of lazing, we decided that in order to accomplish everything that we wanted to do on Lanta, we would have to go elephant trekking that afternoon. So, we ran back to the resore, hopped in a truck that was sent for us and drove for about 20 minutes into the jungle. We arrived at this little enclosure where animals were just wandering around. We immediately saw two elephants roaming around, along with cats and dogs and chickens. We climbed up into this little hut and waited for the elephants. They sidled up and parked next to the shack, for us to hop on. Jane got on the first one and Maureen and I got on the second one.
I had been the most excited about this part of the trip, because I love elephants so much and I was not disappointed. We sat in a little wooden seat on the elephant's back and the driver sat on her head. We rode around the jungle for about an hour. It started to pour rain about 20 minutes into the ride, but no one really cared and we all just got soaked. It was really an incredible experience and I am so happy that we got to go.
Current music: Mama Don't Like My Man by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
After we got back to the elephant place, we got to feed the elephants and play with them for a bit. Then the baby elephant did some tricks, like playing basketball and spinning a hula hoop around its trunk. It came up and put a hat on each of our heads. I was really happy that we got to play with the elephants, and next time I go to Thailand, I think I will go see the elephant refuges in the north.
After we got back to the resort, we hopped on a tuk-tuk into the city, and had dinner at a cool little restaurant that had seashells everywhere. I got pad thai and a really weak Tom Collins. After that we split up to try to find Christmas gifts for each other. Once we completed our shopping ordeal, we headed back to the hotel, and Jane and I took a beach walk. Jane had been looking for these banana pancakes that she and her mother had found on their last trip to Thailand, and she was over the moon when we found a little stand that sold them. They weren't over-hyped either, I have never had a better banana pancake.
Current music: Mono by Courtney Love
The next day was Christmas Eve and another day of snorkeling and island-hopping, this time by speed boat with a tour group. Less fun, but still an ok time nonetheless. It was filled with Swedish families with little blonde children. But I digress. We got up early and took a jeep to where we waited a few minutes for our boat. We got in and had to take a few more stops along the coast picking up people. We then took a ride to an island off the coast of Lanta where we got to go snorkeling for a long time. It was cool to see all of the different kings of fish and coral reefs.
We then got taken to an uninhabited little island for lunch. There were giant lizards that were about the size of golden retrievers running around. In order to get anywhere close to them, you had to slowly inch up, because they had a habit of lunging at people that approached them too quickly. We got to tan and go swimming for about an hour. We then hopped back into the boat for one more round of snorkeling, and then went back to the hotel.
Current music: My Boy Builds Coffins by Florence and the Machine
The hotel had arranged a Christmas dinner buffet for their guests. We were slightly angered that drinks were not included in the deal, so we found a bar next door that had happy hour going on, and drank a few pitchers before heading to dinner. Dinner was actually pretty decent, it was probably the only time I will ever have Christmas turkey and spring rolls on the same plate. They had dancers from local schools doing traditional Thai dancing throughout the meal, along with some fire dancers. We stayed for a long time, and eventually ended up hanging out on the beach with some hotel staff that we had met earlier. We had a fire and guitar party, and we got to light one of those fire lanterns that fly up like balloons. All in all, it was probably the best Christmas Eve ever.
The next day was Christmas morning and my last day on Lanta. We exchanged Christmas presents after breakfast. Jane got me a new purse, and a Rolling Stones shirt and Maureen got me a really pretty notebook with an elephant on it, as well as a coral stone ankle bracelet. I was a happy camper. I had a few hours to kill before I had to go to the harbor, so I got to laze about by the pool for a little while before hopping in a van that the hotel had arranged. I had to take two more ferries before eventually making it back to Phuket. I stayed in a hostel right in the middle of Phuket town, and although I was very tired, I met two Irish travellers and ended up staying up drinking and loudly singing Christmas songs. Good times.
Current music: Tomorrow Never Knows by Our Lady Peace
The next day I got up early and took a 45 minute tuk-tuk ride across the island to the airport, and had an uneventful couple of flights back to Taipei. I then had to take a 4 hour freezing bus ride back to Tainan and ended up getting home at 4am. And had work the next day. That part was not fun.
All in all it was the best vacation, worth every dollar spent, and if you ever get the opportunity to go to Thailand, go. Go a lot.
I've been on Chinese New Year vacation for the past week. I've been in Taichung for the past few days and I finally got to see the art museum that I had been wanting to since I got here. There is also a Canadian restaurant that serves poutine. I was a happy camper indeed.
Thing I miss of the day: Poutine from La Maison in Ottawa. Best poutine in the entire world.
More details on my vacation to follow. No more typing. I have a cold and I need to defeat it with sleeping. Night night.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Holiday, and the best one of the year...
Current music: Glitter by No Age
Thailand, Chapter 2
Phi Phi island is wonderful. Although it's very touristy, that was where we first were able to see the beaches that look like desktop wallpaper.
Our resort was called Phi Phi Hill, named for the horrifying hill that it stood upon. Even the fantastic view from the top of said hill cannot justify those stairs. We stayed in a wee little bungalow that was always filled with sand and completely devoid of hot water, which wasn't that big of a deal, considering how wonderfully hot is was.
Long Beach was lined with resorts, ours was the farthest down the beach. The resort restaurant was quite nice, and employed the only ladyboy that we encountered outside Patong Beach. Which is interesting, because I had always thought that there were ladyboys everywhere, but since we weren't in the cities, we didn't see as many.
The first full day there we spent lazing around the beach and exploring the area. Which is when I got a wicked bad sunburn that would eventually fade to a nice tan. We soon set up camp at the bar of a resort a few down from ours. Jane would come to name the place "Monkey Bar" for no reason at all, as there were no monkeys involved. But Monkey Bar it was nonetheless. Good times at that place, the bartenders were very happy people, and they were very skilled at fire limbo, and fire jump rope. They tried to get us to participate, but fire and I don't get along.
Current music: Holiday by Vampire Weekend
The next day, we decided to hire a longtail tax boat for the day to island-hop and go snorkeling. We found a very friendly taxi boat driver that agreed to be our guide for the day. He first took us to part of Phi Phi called monkey island, which was unsurprisingly filled with monkeys. The monkeys were very cute, and they let people come up right next to them, although one monkey was really fat and made me feel sad. All he does is eat bananas and sit there.
The longtail guy then took us to the most beautiful lagoon, which had to be the most scenic place that we went to. There were no other boats there, which was remarkable in itself, and we swam around for the longest time. After more boats got there, we decided to hop back in and find another place to snorkel. The water was clear enough to see all kinds of wacky fish and some really pretty coral reefs.
We next went to Phi Phi Lay island, which is about a half hour boat ride from Ko Phi Phi. This island is where they filmed the movie The Beach, sometime in the mid-90s. There was some controversy surrounding the movie, as it was claimed that the production damaged some of the natural landscape of the island, which I totally believe. But first things first, getting on to the island was a chore in itself, as we could not drive right up. We had to hop out of the boat, and grab on to a rope which was tied to a series of ropes, which were attached to the island. We had to navigate these ropes, while trying not to fall on the seaweed covered big rocks in the water and constantly losing our flip flops. And the rocks were covered in crabs. Maureen cut her foot open while trying to accomplish this, and even when we got to stable footing, it was in a big rock cave that we had to climb through.
Current music: Easy by Deer Tick
Once we made it to the beach, it was worth it just to say that we made it. It was as touristy as was expected, even though there is nothing on the island. There were locals that live on the island in tents, but no buildings. It was very pretty there, just like all of Thailand's beaches. After chilling there for a little bit, we trekked back to the boat and headed back to Long Beach and got a much needed dinner of spring rolls and pad thai. We went into the town for dinner and partying and much fun was had.
Preview of the next chapter: heading to Ko Lanta, elephant trekking, more snorkeling and Christmas Day!
Thing I miss of the day: Regular access to concerts that I can understand. There is a music festival here in April...but that's far.
It's starting to warm up again in Tainan. Happy.
Maureen is leaving forever this weekend. Sad.
Going for sushi tonight. Happy happy.
Everyone seems to be going to the Philippines but me. Sad.
Elyssa is getting married in 10 days. Happy.
Chinese New Year VACATION ON FRIDAY!! The most happy ever.
Night night.
Thailand, Chapter 2
Phi Phi island is wonderful. Although it's very touristy, that was where we first were able to see the beaches that look like desktop wallpaper.
Our resort was called Phi Phi Hill, named for the horrifying hill that it stood upon. Even the fantastic view from the top of said hill cannot justify those stairs. We stayed in a wee little bungalow that was always filled with sand and completely devoid of hot water, which wasn't that big of a deal, considering how wonderfully hot is was.
Long Beach was lined with resorts, ours was the farthest down the beach. The resort restaurant was quite nice, and employed the only ladyboy that we encountered outside Patong Beach. Which is interesting, because I had always thought that there were ladyboys everywhere, but since we weren't in the cities, we didn't see as many.
The first full day there we spent lazing around the beach and exploring the area. Which is when I got a wicked bad sunburn that would eventually fade to a nice tan. We soon set up camp at the bar of a resort a few down from ours. Jane would come to name the place "Monkey Bar" for no reason at all, as there were no monkeys involved. But Monkey Bar it was nonetheless. Good times at that place, the bartenders were very happy people, and they were very skilled at fire limbo, and fire jump rope. They tried to get us to participate, but fire and I don't get along.
Current music: Holiday by Vampire Weekend
The next day, we decided to hire a longtail tax boat for the day to island-hop and go snorkeling. We found a very friendly taxi boat driver that agreed to be our guide for the day. He first took us to part of Phi Phi called monkey island, which was unsurprisingly filled with monkeys. The monkeys were very cute, and they let people come up right next to them, although one monkey was really fat and made me feel sad. All he does is eat bananas and sit there.
The longtail guy then took us to the most beautiful lagoon, which had to be the most scenic place that we went to. There were no other boats there, which was remarkable in itself, and we swam around for the longest time. After more boats got there, we decided to hop back in and find another place to snorkel. The water was clear enough to see all kinds of wacky fish and some really pretty coral reefs.
We next went to Phi Phi Lay island, which is about a half hour boat ride from Ko Phi Phi. This island is where they filmed the movie The Beach, sometime in the mid-90s. There was some controversy surrounding the movie, as it was claimed that the production damaged some of the natural landscape of the island, which I totally believe. But first things first, getting on to the island was a chore in itself, as we could not drive right up. We had to hop out of the boat, and grab on to a rope which was tied to a series of ropes, which were attached to the island. We had to navigate these ropes, while trying not to fall on the seaweed covered big rocks in the water and constantly losing our flip flops. And the rocks were covered in crabs. Maureen cut her foot open while trying to accomplish this, and even when we got to stable footing, it was in a big rock cave that we had to climb through.
Current music: Easy by Deer Tick
Once we made it to the beach, it was worth it just to say that we made it. It was as touristy as was expected, even though there is nothing on the island. There were locals that live on the island in tents, but no buildings. It was very pretty there, just like all of Thailand's beaches. After chilling there for a little bit, we trekked back to the boat and headed back to Long Beach and got a much needed dinner of spring rolls and pad thai. We went into the town for dinner and partying and much fun was had.
Preview of the next chapter: heading to Ko Lanta, elephant trekking, more snorkeling and Christmas Day!
Thing I miss of the day: Regular access to concerts that I can understand. There is a music festival here in April...but that's far.
It's starting to warm up again in Tainan. Happy.
Maureen is leaving forever this weekend. Sad.
Going for sushi tonight. Happy happy.
Everyone seems to be going to the Philippines but me. Sad.
Elyssa is getting married in 10 days. Happy.
Chinese New Year VACATION ON FRIDAY!! The most happy ever.
Night night.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Once Upon A December...
Current music: Turn Out the Light by The Music
Thailand. Thailand was extraordinary. I will admit that I was a little worried that I had built it up too much in my head for a very long time, but it was an unreal experience, and I am so happy that I got the chance to go.
I left immediately following my Christmas show, which my kids performed wonderfully. They looked adorable and remembered all of their lines. The big boss from Taipei came down to watch the show, and she told Peet and I that it was very well done. The whole English play was also very well done, although I'm pretty sure that it is impossible to put on a bad play with adorable Asian children in costumes.
After some celebratory drinks with my coworkers, I met Jane and Maureen at the bus station to take the four hour bus to Taipei. We got to the Taipei airport way too early, and ended up sleeping for several hours before checking in and going through security.
Current music: Our Bipolar Friends by Johnny and the Foreigners
We then hopped on a Thai Airlines flight to Bangkok, which took about 3 1/2 hours. We then waited for a few hours until our next flight to Phuket island. We stayed there for the first night in Thailand.
A few random facts about Thailand:
Their currency is called the baht, which is comparable to Taiwanese NT, yet we still lost a bit of money doing currency exchange.
You have to barter for everything. Taxis, taxi boats, anything material you want to purchase. I actually like bartering, it's like a battle of wills.
Thai people are the happiest people in the world, it's very inspiring to see their attitudes toward life in general.
Many of their taxis are called tuk-tuks, which are essentially open-air wagons attached to motorcycles.
A good percentage of the tourists that I saw were Swedish.
They drive on the wrong side of the road there, like England.
The food is amazing. I got more pad thais than I can remember, but we all shared our meals, and got the best curries, spring rolls, chicken satays and rice and vegetables everywhere.
Once on Phuket, we took a taxi across the island to Patong beach, which is a very touristy area, but it was still a lot of fun. It took about 45 minutes to get there from the airport. We stayed in a very friendly hostel, which was up a very vertical hill. Not fun after a party night. We went to get dinner pretty much immediately. I was told before going that I would probably be drinking Chang beer more than anything else, which was totally true. Thai beer is surprisingly good. I got my first of many pad thais in Thailand. We then went out to explore a bit of Patong, which is a very interesting place. One thing that stands out in Thailand is how aggressive people are to get foreigners to come into their shops. They never physically touch you, but they yell at you until you are either out of earshot or you go look at something.
Current music: Happens To Us All Otherwise by The Bound Stems
After shopping for a few hours, we decided to look around for a place to drink. Patong has a lot of random bar huts that are all set up in a row right by the market shops. We picked one that had the cheapest drinks, and all of the bartenders passed the time by playing brainteaser games like Connect 4. We ended up playing a massive and intense game of Jenga, that was much more complicated than regular Jenga. Later that night, we went out to party with some people we met at the hostel. All in all, it was a very good first night.
The next morning, we got up early to board the ferry that woulod take us to Phi Phi island. The ferry took about an hour or so. Phi Phi is one of the more touristy areas in Thailand, but the beach we were staying on, called Long beach, was relatively quiet. The town was chock full of tourists from all over the place. The hostel that we stayed at was unfortunately located at the top of the scariest staircase imaginable, with 88 stone and wooden stairs that were slanted and usually covered in sand. Climbing up those stairs the first time was not something I ever want to repeat. We stayed in a wooden bungalow, that was always filled with sand. It wasn't the best accomodation, but suited us just fine for the amount of time that we were there.
And so ends part 1 of Jess's Thailand saga. Tune in next time, whenever I have time to write again. I'll put up pics too, once I have the means to do it.
Preview: the story of going to Leonardo DiCaprio's beach, getting really super tan, and playing witrh monkeys.
Thing I miss of the day: Laura Szymczuk. Gonna be a world traveler like me very soon.
Peace out.
Thailand. Thailand was extraordinary. I will admit that I was a little worried that I had built it up too much in my head for a very long time, but it was an unreal experience, and I am so happy that I got the chance to go.
I left immediately following my Christmas show, which my kids performed wonderfully. They looked adorable and remembered all of their lines. The big boss from Taipei came down to watch the show, and she told Peet and I that it was very well done. The whole English play was also very well done, although I'm pretty sure that it is impossible to put on a bad play with adorable Asian children in costumes.
After some celebratory drinks with my coworkers, I met Jane and Maureen at the bus station to take the four hour bus to Taipei. We got to the Taipei airport way too early, and ended up sleeping for several hours before checking in and going through security.
Current music: Our Bipolar Friends by Johnny and the Foreigners
We then hopped on a Thai Airlines flight to Bangkok, which took about 3 1/2 hours. We then waited for a few hours until our next flight to Phuket island. We stayed there for the first night in Thailand.
A few random facts about Thailand:
Their currency is called the baht, which is comparable to Taiwanese NT, yet we still lost a bit of money doing currency exchange.
You have to barter for everything. Taxis, taxi boats, anything material you want to purchase. I actually like bartering, it's like a battle of wills.
Thai people are the happiest people in the world, it's very inspiring to see their attitudes toward life in general.
Many of their taxis are called tuk-tuks, which are essentially open-air wagons attached to motorcycles.
A good percentage of the tourists that I saw were Swedish.
They drive on the wrong side of the road there, like England.
The food is amazing. I got more pad thais than I can remember, but we all shared our meals, and got the best curries, spring rolls, chicken satays and rice and vegetables everywhere.
Once on Phuket, we took a taxi across the island to Patong beach, which is a very touristy area, but it was still a lot of fun. It took about 45 minutes to get there from the airport. We stayed in a very friendly hostel, which was up a very vertical hill. Not fun after a party night. We went to get dinner pretty much immediately. I was told before going that I would probably be drinking Chang beer more than anything else, which was totally true. Thai beer is surprisingly good. I got my first of many pad thais in Thailand. We then went out to explore a bit of Patong, which is a very interesting place. One thing that stands out in Thailand is how aggressive people are to get foreigners to come into their shops. They never physically touch you, but they yell at you until you are either out of earshot or you go look at something.
Current music: Happens To Us All Otherwise by The Bound Stems
After shopping for a few hours, we decided to look around for a place to drink. Patong has a lot of random bar huts that are all set up in a row right by the market shops. We picked one that had the cheapest drinks, and all of the bartenders passed the time by playing brainteaser games like Connect 4. We ended up playing a massive and intense game of Jenga, that was much more complicated than regular Jenga. Later that night, we went out to party with some people we met at the hostel. All in all, it was a very good first night.
The next morning, we got up early to board the ferry that woulod take us to Phi Phi island. The ferry took about an hour or so. Phi Phi is one of the more touristy areas in Thailand, but the beach we were staying on, called Long beach, was relatively quiet. The town was chock full of tourists from all over the place. The hostel that we stayed at was unfortunately located at the top of the scariest staircase imaginable, with 88 stone and wooden stairs that were slanted and usually covered in sand. Climbing up those stairs the first time was not something I ever want to repeat. We stayed in a wooden bungalow, that was always filled with sand. It wasn't the best accomodation, but suited us just fine for the amount of time that we were there.
And so ends part 1 of Jess's Thailand saga. Tune in next time, whenever I have time to write again. I'll put up pics too, once I have the means to do it.
Preview: the story of going to Leonardo DiCaprio's beach, getting really super tan, and playing witrh monkeys.
Thing I miss of the day: Laura Szymczuk. Gonna be a world traveler like me very soon.
Peace out.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now..
Current music: The Spirit of Jazz by The Gaslight Anthem
So, I just returned home from my first Chinese lesson. This one was focused on pinyin, which essentially means Mandarin sounds. Mandarin doesn't have an alphabet, so I just have to learn to pronounce the different noises correctly, and that's step one. My tutor Kevin is a great guy, and I found that he lives literally right in the building next to me. I also found out that one of the birthday parties I went to when I first got here was his. This city is really unbelievably small for such a populated place. He tells me that I have very good pronunciation, but I don't know if he's just saying that because I'm paying him.
All of the people in my building know who I am, it's a little freaky. It's not a small building either. They also know which apartment is mine, and press the button for me when I get in the elevator. Ben told me when I first got here that being a foreigner in Tainan is like being kind of famous for looking different. He's not wrong.
Current music: Mondo Bongo by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros
My Thailand trip is officially booked. I have been bouncing around for the past few days being super excited about it and telling everyone that listens to me. I made the mistake of going into my vacation in great detail to Vera, one of my Chinese teachers. Until I asked her what she was doing for the break, and it turns out that the Chinese teachers don't get a break at all, they have to work the whole time. They only get Chinese New Year off in February. After feeling like a jerk for several minutes, I then planned to get her something really awesome before I leave. Because I would not have survived my children without her. And no one deserves a break more than her.
One of Jane's good friends from Ottawa moved here a few weeks ago. Her name is Maureen and she's a very nice, yet extremely quiet girl. Which is weird, as both Jane and I are loud and obnoxious people. She has been adjusting extremely well to things here, probably because she already had an apartment set up, with Internet and furniture and a means of transportation. Lucky bitch. Jane and Maureen and I are bound for Thailand in one week from today. Jane gets two weeks for vacation and Maureen doesn't have a job yet. I only get one week, so they get to spend an extra week there. I am insanely jealous. We are flying to Phuket, with a layover in Bangkok. We then are bound for Kho Phi Phi island, followed by Kho Lanta. Then I have to go home. But at least I get to spend Christmas on a Thai beach. I am so excited that I can't even handle it.
Current music: Coyote Song by Bright Eyes
It's been a little over three months since I got here. I am still loving it immensely, although since I have a routine now, things seem less strange. I accept strange as a way of life. I went to the BBQ place again last night with my group of people again and once again Hopey and I stayed drinking until it closed. I love that place so much. Amazing food and cheap beer. Can't go wrong. Jane and Maureen and Sonja and Randy and I are going to the movies tonight. They have assigned seats at movie theatres here, like a concert. It's weird.
My kids have been into full dress rehearsals in the past week. My big kids are dressed as mice and elves and my babies are dressed as Christmas presents. I got their parents to make the presents out of cardboard boxes. A good chunk of the parents didn't really get the concept of the boxes being presents and made them into cars and shit. I don't really care, they look fantastic, and they have gotten awesome at singing Jingle Bells, although I now never want to hear that song again. The play is going to be awesome, even though I hate the story. I plan on taking full creative control of the graduation show. It shall be epic and win Pulitzers and shit. I have discovered if you put tiny Asian children on stage in costumes, it will always be amazing. Content is secondary. The show is on Friday. Peet is having an anxiety attack, and I am surprisingly calm. I'm going to bring him some herbal tea or whiskey or something for the night of. Otherwise I fear total meltdown.
Current music: Alcoholiday by Teenage Fanclub
In exactly one week from now, all of my stupid stress inducers will have ended. I look so forward to that day. This vacation could not have come at a better time. And since it's really cheap to fly around Asia, I think I will have to make this a regular thing. Every work vacation will mean a new country. I have a flight to Hong Kong in February for Chinese New Year, which was my original visa run that I don't have to take anymore. But I will, because it's Hong Kong.
Thing I miss of the week: Snow. Yeah, I said it. I don't miss cold, but I do miss snow. Most people here have never seen snow. Which is weird to think about.
I am now off to get gas. Everything in Taiwan is open until 10pm, it's really convenient. I'll try to post again before the end of the week, but no promises.
Cheers!
So, I just returned home from my first Chinese lesson. This one was focused on pinyin, which essentially means Mandarin sounds. Mandarin doesn't have an alphabet, so I just have to learn to pronounce the different noises correctly, and that's step one. My tutor Kevin is a great guy, and I found that he lives literally right in the building next to me. I also found out that one of the birthday parties I went to when I first got here was his. This city is really unbelievably small for such a populated place. He tells me that I have very good pronunciation, but I don't know if he's just saying that because I'm paying him.
All of the people in my building know who I am, it's a little freaky. It's not a small building either. They also know which apartment is mine, and press the button for me when I get in the elevator. Ben told me when I first got here that being a foreigner in Tainan is like being kind of famous for looking different. He's not wrong.
Current music: Mondo Bongo by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros
My Thailand trip is officially booked. I have been bouncing around for the past few days being super excited about it and telling everyone that listens to me. I made the mistake of going into my vacation in great detail to Vera, one of my Chinese teachers. Until I asked her what she was doing for the break, and it turns out that the Chinese teachers don't get a break at all, they have to work the whole time. They only get Chinese New Year off in February. After feeling like a jerk for several minutes, I then planned to get her something really awesome before I leave. Because I would not have survived my children without her. And no one deserves a break more than her.
One of Jane's good friends from Ottawa moved here a few weeks ago. Her name is Maureen and she's a very nice, yet extremely quiet girl. Which is weird, as both Jane and I are loud and obnoxious people. She has been adjusting extremely well to things here, probably because she already had an apartment set up, with Internet and furniture and a means of transportation. Lucky bitch. Jane and Maureen and I are bound for Thailand in one week from today. Jane gets two weeks for vacation and Maureen doesn't have a job yet. I only get one week, so they get to spend an extra week there. I am insanely jealous. We are flying to Phuket, with a layover in Bangkok. We then are bound for Kho Phi Phi island, followed by Kho Lanta. Then I have to go home. But at least I get to spend Christmas on a Thai beach. I am so excited that I can't even handle it.
Current music: Coyote Song by Bright Eyes
It's been a little over three months since I got here. I am still loving it immensely, although since I have a routine now, things seem less strange. I accept strange as a way of life. I went to the BBQ place again last night with my group of people again and once again Hopey and I stayed drinking until it closed. I love that place so much. Amazing food and cheap beer. Can't go wrong. Jane and Maureen and Sonja and Randy and I are going to the movies tonight. They have assigned seats at movie theatres here, like a concert. It's weird.
My kids have been into full dress rehearsals in the past week. My big kids are dressed as mice and elves and my babies are dressed as Christmas presents. I got their parents to make the presents out of cardboard boxes. A good chunk of the parents didn't really get the concept of the boxes being presents and made them into cars and shit. I don't really care, they look fantastic, and they have gotten awesome at singing Jingle Bells, although I now never want to hear that song again. The play is going to be awesome, even though I hate the story. I plan on taking full creative control of the graduation show. It shall be epic and win Pulitzers and shit. I have discovered if you put tiny Asian children on stage in costumes, it will always be amazing. Content is secondary. The show is on Friday. Peet is having an anxiety attack, and I am surprisingly calm. I'm going to bring him some herbal tea or whiskey or something for the night of. Otherwise I fear total meltdown.
Current music: Alcoholiday by Teenage Fanclub
In exactly one week from now, all of my stupid stress inducers will have ended. I look so forward to that day. This vacation could not have come at a better time. And since it's really cheap to fly around Asia, I think I will have to make this a regular thing. Every work vacation will mean a new country. I have a flight to Hong Kong in February for Chinese New Year, which was my original visa run that I don't have to take anymore. But I will, because it's Hong Kong.
Thing I miss of the week: Snow. Yeah, I said it. I don't miss cold, but I do miss snow. Most people here have never seen snow. Which is weird to think about.
I am now off to get gas. Everything in Taiwan is open until 10pm, it's really convenient. I'll try to post again before the end of the week, but no promises.
Cheers!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I don't think I'd be satisfied, if all I said was goodbye...
Current music: Back Down South by Kings of Leon
So...I have totally neglected this blog again. I could say that I've been very busy, which is true, and I could also say that my Internet connection is terrible, which is also true, but the real reason for my suckitude is that I completely forgot that this blog exists. Shame, shame, shame.
So, in order to remedy this the best I can, I shall go over the big-ish news that has gone on.
Development the first: I have a scooter now. And I am actually comfortable on it. Well, as comfortable as you can be driving here I suppose. The best way that I can describe the traffic here is to equate it to skiing. If you use your mirrors, check your blindspots or turn your head, chances are you will run into something. But it's better now that I am used to it.
My scooter is a tank. It's big and black and looks like it's been through several wars. I convinced myself that scooters are like boats in that it's bad luck to have one without a name. Mine is named Old Reliable, O.R. for short. Also, to reference the operating room that I will certainly end up in one day from driving here. It's a lovely machine, and I don't want to drive any other scooter, as I have bad scooter karma with any one that's not my own.
Current music: Everything Girl by Mustard Plug
Development the second: I am planning on going to Thailand for Christmas. I'm super excited about it as Thailand has been my dream for awhile. Probably second only to Egypt. Details to follow when I get plans a-rolling.
Development the third: My Christmas show has been in full rehearsal for the past month. I am so fucking sick of it I want to give myself an amateur lobotomy, but apparently it's not good enough yet to appease the mobs of parents. My five year olds are champions. They have thus far memorized 6 scenes of dialogue, three songs and two dances. And they have one more dance to go. I am so damn proud of them, and don't really care that much about the quality of the Christmas show, but unfortunately I don't run the school. So I pretty much have to be the cliched psychotic drama teacher. On five year olds.
Development the fourth: I hired a private Chinese tutor. I was supposed to start this week, but I lost my voice several days ago, and learning a tonal language would be kind of pointless. So I start next Friday.
Current music: Aspidistra by Scotland Yard Gospel Choir
That's really everything that's semi-important that has been going on. So here are several non-important things that I feel like sharing.
I bought Mahjongg tiles yesterday. I am totally turning into a 104 year old Chinese man.
My kids had their midterm tests on Thursday. Most of them passed, and I was happy.
One of my friends showed me a giant food warehouse where you can buy lots of imported things. I was also happy.
It costs me about $6 Canadian dollars every week and a half or so to gas up my scooter. Be jealous.
I have been obsessed with the crossword puzzles in the Taipei Times, even though it's an American crossword. My kids find them fascinating.
I went to the beach today. It was perfect beach weather. Hot, but not too hot.
I found the Subway in Tainan. My long quest is finally over.
I was introduced to this wonderful British sitcom called The Mighty Boosh. It's really fucked up and I never have any idea about what's going on, but it's wonderful.
It seems that all of my friends in Tainan had birthdays this week. I spent way more money on shots for people than anyone ever should.
One of our new pastimes at the pub is to get really wasted and play Balderdash. More fun than it sounds.
Thing I miss of the week: Hockey mania. Even though it's often embarrassing to be a Leafs girl.
Night night... I'll try really hard not to be a deadbeat again. For real this time.
So...I have totally neglected this blog again. I could say that I've been very busy, which is true, and I could also say that my Internet connection is terrible, which is also true, but the real reason for my suckitude is that I completely forgot that this blog exists. Shame, shame, shame.
So, in order to remedy this the best I can, I shall go over the big-ish news that has gone on.
Development the first: I have a scooter now. And I am actually comfortable on it. Well, as comfortable as you can be driving here I suppose. The best way that I can describe the traffic here is to equate it to skiing. If you use your mirrors, check your blindspots or turn your head, chances are you will run into something. But it's better now that I am used to it.
My scooter is a tank. It's big and black and looks like it's been through several wars. I convinced myself that scooters are like boats in that it's bad luck to have one without a name. Mine is named Old Reliable, O.R. for short. Also, to reference the operating room that I will certainly end up in one day from driving here. It's a lovely machine, and I don't want to drive any other scooter, as I have bad scooter karma with any one that's not my own.
Current music: Everything Girl by Mustard Plug
Development the second: I am planning on going to Thailand for Christmas. I'm super excited about it as Thailand has been my dream for awhile. Probably second only to Egypt. Details to follow when I get plans a-rolling.
Development the third: My Christmas show has been in full rehearsal for the past month. I am so fucking sick of it I want to give myself an amateur lobotomy, but apparently it's not good enough yet to appease the mobs of parents. My five year olds are champions. They have thus far memorized 6 scenes of dialogue, three songs and two dances. And they have one more dance to go. I am so damn proud of them, and don't really care that much about the quality of the Christmas show, but unfortunately I don't run the school. So I pretty much have to be the cliched psychotic drama teacher. On five year olds.
Development the fourth: I hired a private Chinese tutor. I was supposed to start this week, but I lost my voice several days ago, and learning a tonal language would be kind of pointless. So I start next Friday.
Current music: Aspidistra by Scotland Yard Gospel Choir
That's really everything that's semi-important that has been going on. So here are several non-important things that I feel like sharing.
I bought Mahjongg tiles yesterday. I am totally turning into a 104 year old Chinese man.
My kids had their midterm tests on Thursday. Most of them passed, and I was happy.
One of my friends showed me a giant food warehouse where you can buy lots of imported things. I was also happy.
It costs me about $6 Canadian dollars every week and a half or so to gas up my scooter. Be jealous.
I have been obsessed with the crossword puzzles in the Taipei Times, even though it's an American crossword. My kids find them fascinating.
I went to the beach today. It was perfect beach weather. Hot, but not too hot.
I found the Subway in Tainan. My long quest is finally over.
I was introduced to this wonderful British sitcom called The Mighty Boosh. It's really fucked up and I never have any idea about what's going on, but it's wonderful.
It seems that all of my friends in Tainan had birthdays this week. I spent way more money on shots for people than anyone ever should.
One of our new pastimes at the pub is to get really wasted and play Balderdash. More fun than it sounds.
Thing I miss of the week: Hockey mania. Even though it's often embarrassing to be a Leafs girl.
Night night... I'll try really hard not to be a deadbeat again. For real this time.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Businessmen drink my blood, like the kids in art school said they would...
Current music: Kiss With A Fist by Florence and the Machine
So...it turns out it can actually get sort of cold in Taiwan. Not by Canadian standards by any means, but so much that I can wear jeans and a hoodie and not die from heat exhaustion. I want to stress that it is always really warm here, as no houses ever have insulation.
Night markets are a big thing in Taiwan, and they are exactly what they sound like. They open at around 7 or 8, whenever it gets dark, and you can buy all these different weird foods, clothing, toys, whatever. They span about one city block, and when they are not set up they look like a parking lot. Jane and I went last week, instead of getting dinner. I was going to try an octopus on a stick, but decided that it probably wasn't the best idea when almost nursing a hangover. I also don't know if I'd be allergic to it, but next time I think I'll risk it. I got some strange little apple cakes, some sushi, some really good dumplings, a kabob and some sugar waffles that were in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants. Taiwan is obsessed with Spongebob, he is everywhere. Spongebob and Hello Kitty. Everywhere.
Current music: Sounds Like Hallelujah by The Head and the Heart.
Last night I went for dinner at the BBQ place that I went to my first weekend here. It was basically a repeat of that night, except this time I could order things in my terrible Chinese. It is the only place that I have found here where you can get genuine Cantonese food. Fantastic. All the English teachers from my school were there, and they like to buy me beer, which I won't complain about. I was smart enough not to challenge Hopey to a drinking contest, so I challenged Les. I picked an easy contest to make up for the shame of the last time. Victory. It was good to celebrate Bonfire Night with actual English people instead of just me watching V for Vendetta.
I just finished subbing for one of Amanda's classes while she is in Kenting for the weekend. Why people here insist on some classes 7 days a week is beyond me. It's fucking Saturday, I wanted to sleep. It was a small class of 3 high school girls, who were the quietest people. Easiest class ever. I need to get some more private classes once I get a scooter and can actually move around this city. My bike is falling apart and making weird noises that sound like a seal being slaughtered. I have faith in it though. I went scooter shopping last week and Sonja and Amanda were gracious enough to come with me so I wouldn't be a moron and buy the first shiny scooter I found. Which would completely happen if I was unsupervised.
After many shady scooter people trying to rip me off, Amanda eventually took me to her mechanic, who by chance just obtained a 125cc scooter which is probably from the mid 90's and was in pieces. Apparently David the mechanic is a stand up guy and a scooter wizard, and he is going to spend the next week or so fixing the scooter up to be functional. It will still look like it's been through a war, but I can cover it in stickers. When he is done, he will call me up to go look at it and see if I want it. It's cheap too, which is what I wanted. We'll see, I'm in no rush. My squealing bike suits me just fine.
I learned to drive a scooter last week, much easier than I thought it would be. The traffic is what fucks things up. People here can't drive. They make up their own rules as they go. It's really quite extraordinary, and I can't put it into words. You have to see it to understand the full extent of the crazy.
Current music: Canadian Lover, Falcon's Escape by Destroyer
I started my kids on rehearsing my Christmas play this week. My big kids have to have lines. We go on in 5 weeks. Which is more scary than I like to admit. Outwardly, I'm as cool as a cucumber about the situation to the other teachers, but my kids are terrible at performing. Except Duncan, he'll be my saving grace. It's not like they're doing Les Mis, but their parents will be there. Watching and judging. If I just have them constantly do jazz hands and smile, I think I'll be OK. The babies don't have lines, so if I just throw them on stage in costumes, everybody will be so blinded by the cute that they'll forget about everything else. It's a foolproof plan.
Thing I miss of the week: The use of a dryer. They are totally unnecessary here, but that doesn't mean I don't long for dryer fresh clothes.
Avoiding the bars this weekend. Last weekend was almost too crazy. Probably going to get some 7-11 beers with Jane and wander around.
Out.
So...it turns out it can actually get sort of cold in Taiwan. Not by Canadian standards by any means, but so much that I can wear jeans and a hoodie and not die from heat exhaustion. I want to stress that it is always really warm here, as no houses ever have insulation.
Night markets are a big thing in Taiwan, and they are exactly what they sound like. They open at around 7 or 8, whenever it gets dark, and you can buy all these different weird foods, clothing, toys, whatever. They span about one city block, and when they are not set up they look like a parking lot. Jane and I went last week, instead of getting dinner. I was going to try an octopus on a stick, but decided that it probably wasn't the best idea when almost nursing a hangover. I also don't know if I'd be allergic to it, but next time I think I'll risk it. I got some strange little apple cakes, some sushi, some really good dumplings, a kabob and some sugar waffles that were in the shape of Spongebob Squarepants. Taiwan is obsessed with Spongebob, he is everywhere. Spongebob and Hello Kitty. Everywhere.
Current music: Sounds Like Hallelujah by The Head and the Heart.
Last night I went for dinner at the BBQ place that I went to my first weekend here. It was basically a repeat of that night, except this time I could order things in my terrible Chinese. It is the only place that I have found here where you can get genuine Cantonese food. Fantastic. All the English teachers from my school were there, and they like to buy me beer, which I won't complain about. I was smart enough not to challenge Hopey to a drinking contest, so I challenged Les. I picked an easy contest to make up for the shame of the last time. Victory. It was good to celebrate Bonfire Night with actual English people instead of just me watching V for Vendetta.
I just finished subbing for one of Amanda's classes while she is in Kenting for the weekend. Why people here insist on some classes 7 days a week is beyond me. It's fucking Saturday, I wanted to sleep. It was a small class of 3 high school girls, who were the quietest people. Easiest class ever. I need to get some more private classes once I get a scooter and can actually move around this city. My bike is falling apart and making weird noises that sound like a seal being slaughtered. I have faith in it though. I went scooter shopping last week and Sonja and Amanda were gracious enough to come with me so I wouldn't be a moron and buy the first shiny scooter I found. Which would completely happen if I was unsupervised.
After many shady scooter people trying to rip me off, Amanda eventually took me to her mechanic, who by chance just obtained a 125cc scooter which is probably from the mid 90's and was in pieces. Apparently David the mechanic is a stand up guy and a scooter wizard, and he is going to spend the next week or so fixing the scooter up to be functional. It will still look like it's been through a war, but I can cover it in stickers. When he is done, he will call me up to go look at it and see if I want it. It's cheap too, which is what I wanted. We'll see, I'm in no rush. My squealing bike suits me just fine.
I learned to drive a scooter last week, much easier than I thought it would be. The traffic is what fucks things up. People here can't drive. They make up their own rules as they go. It's really quite extraordinary, and I can't put it into words. You have to see it to understand the full extent of the crazy.
Current music: Canadian Lover, Falcon's Escape by Destroyer
I started my kids on rehearsing my Christmas play this week. My big kids have to have lines. We go on in 5 weeks. Which is more scary than I like to admit. Outwardly, I'm as cool as a cucumber about the situation to the other teachers, but my kids are terrible at performing. Except Duncan, he'll be my saving grace. It's not like they're doing Les Mis, but their parents will be there. Watching and judging. If I just have them constantly do jazz hands and smile, I think I'll be OK. The babies don't have lines, so if I just throw them on stage in costumes, everybody will be so blinded by the cute that they'll forget about everything else. It's a foolproof plan.
Thing I miss of the week: The use of a dryer. They are totally unnecessary here, but that doesn't mean I don't long for dryer fresh clothes.
Avoiding the bars this weekend. Last weekend was almost too crazy. Probably going to get some 7-11 beers with Jane and wander around.
Out.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Bonfires burning bright, pumpkin faces in the night, I remember Halloween
Current music: Hello I Love You by The Doors
Nearing the two month mark now here in Tainan. It's still amazing here, I never want to leave.
It's Monday. Monday is my longest day, because I have a private tutoring session with an 11-year-old named Prince right after my day ends. Apparently Prince is a semi-common English name for kids here...I have no idea why. I think his name has given him a complex though, because the kid has a bit of an attitude. He's convinced that he is always right, and he likes to give me advice on things in Taiwan. He is actually smarter than me, but I don't want him to know that. The kid is a fantastic reader because he has a crazy mother that forces him to constantly do homework. I feel kind of bad for him in this respect. So I go a little easy on him because I think that he sometimes forgets that he is a child.
This weekend there was a super-typhoon that decided to sit in the middle of the South China Sea, and no one knew where it was going to go. Taiwan was in a bit of a panic. So, once it started hardcore raining on Friday morning, Tainan was officially shut down, and my school closed for the afternoon. I was ecstatic and high fiving everyone. The best part was that it only rained for about 45 minutes and the rest of the day was sunshine. Tainan was, for the most part, spared Typhoon Megi, all we got was rain. Although it was horrible to hear that it hit northern Taiwan, causing flooding and landslides. A mountain collapsed near Suao, on the east coast, burying a tour bus. I heard that most people were rescued, but the total death count in Taiwan was 12, with 23 missing. Scary stuff, apparently it was one of the worst storms ever recorded, anywhere. Ever. We were lucky that it stopped when it did.
I finally got an Alien Residency Card today, so I'm no longer an illegal immigrant. I'm going to buy a scooter as soon as I possibly can. Getting a cell phone tomorrow.
Current music: Your Touch by The Black Keys
Halloween is on Sunday. I have to do pumpkin carving on Wednesday, which is scary because I don't want my children anywhere near me whilst I'm wielding a weapon. Chances are they will start climbing on me and things will go awry.
We got raided again last week. This one lasted for at least an hour. They seem to be cracking down on the kindergarten teachers, apparently they have never raided this frequently. It wasn't too bad though, it gave Peet and I a chance to go over the bilingual Christmas pageant. I am already super worried that some of my kids are going to fail horribly at the dialogue.
I went to a restaurant called the Water Frog on Saturday night. It was by far the weirdest dining experience I have ever had. You sit at a table, which has a hot coal BBQ in the middle of it. You take plates up to the buffet area to get your food. That catch is that all the meat and veggies are raw, and you cook them yourself in the middle of the table, using makeshift tin foil plates. I went with my new best friend Jane, who also does not speak Chinese. I have decided that the experience would have been a lot less stressful if there was more people, who knew the characters for different meats, and could help cook. It was a lot of work for two people. Anyways, I nearly lit myself on fire, and then was unable to put out the fire in the middle of the table because I was laughing so much at the situation. Long story short, I didn't burn myself or get salmonella, which was also an issue because all the raw meat was intermingling. On top of all that, they give you all you can drink beer, but I don't think it would be wise for anyone to be intoxicated whilst sitting at a table with open flames on it. In retrospect, it was a very funny dinner. They had ice cream, which made it worthwhile.
Current music: Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold
It's pizza night at Willy's, which happens every Monday. I am super excited. I pretty much live there, I was there for dinner last night, now that I think of it. Whatever, I can't get tired of it. The servers all know us by name now, which is super convenient. It's like Cheers, without the silly situational comedy. There is some situational comedy, but less.
This season of Jersey Shore is over. I am more sad than I care to admit.
Thing I miss of the day: Subway. I hear there's one here, but I have no idea where.
It's pizza time! Wheee!
Nearing the two month mark now here in Tainan. It's still amazing here, I never want to leave.
It's Monday. Monday is my longest day, because I have a private tutoring session with an 11-year-old named Prince right after my day ends. Apparently Prince is a semi-common English name for kids here...I have no idea why. I think his name has given him a complex though, because the kid has a bit of an attitude. He's convinced that he is always right, and he likes to give me advice on things in Taiwan. He is actually smarter than me, but I don't want him to know that. The kid is a fantastic reader because he has a crazy mother that forces him to constantly do homework. I feel kind of bad for him in this respect. So I go a little easy on him because I think that he sometimes forgets that he is a child.
This weekend there was a super-typhoon that decided to sit in the middle of the South China Sea, and no one knew where it was going to go. Taiwan was in a bit of a panic. So, once it started hardcore raining on Friday morning, Tainan was officially shut down, and my school closed for the afternoon. I was ecstatic and high fiving everyone. The best part was that it only rained for about 45 minutes and the rest of the day was sunshine. Tainan was, for the most part, spared Typhoon Megi, all we got was rain. Although it was horrible to hear that it hit northern Taiwan, causing flooding and landslides. A mountain collapsed near Suao, on the east coast, burying a tour bus. I heard that most people were rescued, but the total death count in Taiwan was 12, with 23 missing. Scary stuff, apparently it was one of the worst storms ever recorded, anywhere. Ever. We were lucky that it stopped when it did.
I finally got an Alien Residency Card today, so I'm no longer an illegal immigrant. I'm going to buy a scooter as soon as I possibly can. Getting a cell phone tomorrow.
Current music: Your Touch by The Black Keys
Halloween is on Sunday. I have to do pumpkin carving on Wednesday, which is scary because I don't want my children anywhere near me whilst I'm wielding a weapon. Chances are they will start climbing on me and things will go awry.
We got raided again last week. This one lasted for at least an hour. They seem to be cracking down on the kindergarten teachers, apparently they have never raided this frequently. It wasn't too bad though, it gave Peet and I a chance to go over the bilingual Christmas pageant. I am already super worried that some of my kids are going to fail horribly at the dialogue.
I went to a restaurant called the Water Frog on Saturday night. It was by far the weirdest dining experience I have ever had. You sit at a table, which has a hot coal BBQ in the middle of it. You take plates up to the buffet area to get your food. That catch is that all the meat and veggies are raw, and you cook them yourself in the middle of the table, using makeshift tin foil plates. I went with my new best friend Jane, who also does not speak Chinese. I have decided that the experience would have been a lot less stressful if there was more people, who knew the characters for different meats, and could help cook. It was a lot of work for two people. Anyways, I nearly lit myself on fire, and then was unable to put out the fire in the middle of the table because I was laughing so much at the situation. Long story short, I didn't burn myself or get salmonella, which was also an issue because all the raw meat was intermingling. On top of all that, they give you all you can drink beer, but I don't think it would be wise for anyone to be intoxicated whilst sitting at a table with open flames on it. In retrospect, it was a very funny dinner. They had ice cream, which made it worthwhile.
Current music: Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold
It's pizza night at Willy's, which happens every Monday. I am super excited. I pretty much live there, I was there for dinner last night, now that I think of it. Whatever, I can't get tired of it. The servers all know us by name now, which is super convenient. It's like Cheers, without the silly situational comedy. There is some situational comedy, but less.
This season of Jersey Shore is over. I am more sad than I care to admit.
Thing I miss of the day: Subway. I hear there's one here, but I have no idea where.
It's pizza time! Wheee!
Friday, October 15, 2010
When I was a little girl, I had a rag doll...
Current music: Charm Attack by Leona Naess
It has been pointed out to me that I have been neglecting the blogging. Apart from laziness, the only justification I can offer for this is that I seem to be getting used to the extreme weirdness of things here, therefore they seem less worthy of documentation. I know that this is not true, but that's all I got. But there are pictures now! Many pictures. Hopefully videos coming soon, stay tuned.
I just returned home from a sushi dinner at Sushi Express with the teachers from Head Start. I don't know them as well as I do my own co-workers, but they are all cool kids as well. Celeste is close to my age, from Alberta and speaks flawless Chinese, so I figured that she would be a good friend to have. And I was right, as she provided me with a Halloween costume; she will be going as Rachel Berry and I will go as Sue Sylvester. All I have to do is find a track suit, which will be easy enough, and spend my day berating people. What a glorious Halloween it shall be. I should also get a bullhorn.
John is yet another Englishman who has seemingly been in Tainan forever. He keeps trying to persuade me to go hardcore mountain biking around Jiali and Kaohsiung, but he doesn't understand that although I still enjoy the bicycle, I also don't have any other mode of transportation. So biking in my spare time is still something I leave to the evenings, when it is cool-ish. Not vertically, in the middle of the scorching afternoon. Perhaps in the future.
Kevin is (I'm guessing) from somewhere in the States and is the quietest person ever. How you can be that serious and still be an elementary teacher escapes me. Tim is from California, and I always seem to run into him at the bar. He has the same sense of humour as me, so we get along fine. I sometimes envy that they get to do elementary. But there is good and bad about every teaching age. I'm fine with my little hell-spawn for now. Although they did give me a wicked cold this past week, because they are laden with disease. Why must children be so toxic?
Current music: Warm Heart of Africa by The Very Best
Jump Start goes all out for Halloween. The school is decorated down to the last doorway, and they will be holding a pageant thing for the kids to trot around in their costumes in front of their peers, and many parents as well. They felt the need to stress to us not to dress up as anything too scary for the children, and then proceeded to display bloody scream masks hanging from the ceiling and prop up little toy witches with Freddy Kreuger faces in front of every classroom. So, I've decided to ignore this advice even more than I ignore all advice that I get from management.
I made the mistake of using one of the demon witches to scare my babies one day. Now they are all in a constant state of terror every time they pass by the toy. Though I often use this fear to scare them into compliance. Be quiet or the witch will eat you. I sense future lifelong fears a-growing. Maybe I have a sadistic kindergarten teacher to blame for my irrational fear of clowns. We'll never know.
Ok, I'm going to be honest about where my weekends have gone. The bars here do not close. Ever. As long as there are people in them, they stay open. So, last call does not exist. I have previously been out at The Armory, the local foreigner pub, until 7am. Therefore, this weekend is going to be extremely low-key, so I can rest. I may be going to Taichung tomorrow with Sonja. Apparently, there is some kind of jazz festival going on, and I love jazz.
Current music: Cherry Bomb by The Runaways
I taught my big kids to sing Do-Re-Mi a few weeks ago, due to my recent goal to be Julie Andrews. On the CD I use for that song, this song is immediately followed by Stop by the Spice Girls. Remarkably, one of my kids already knows it. Or at least random noises in the rhythm of it. So, I had no choice but to teach them all to say random noises to the beat of Stop. It was one of the most epic things I have ever seen. My twelve-year-old self would love me right now.
Thing I miss of the day: Nick...I get to Skype with you tomorrow! Excitement!
I'm drinking a weird Japanese beer called Asahi right now, and it's pretty damn good. No reason to throw that in there, but it needed to be said. Daniel told me that it's going to storm this weekend, he had better be lying.
Goodnight.
P.S. I shall do my best not to be so negligent in future times.
It has been pointed out to me that I have been neglecting the blogging. Apart from laziness, the only justification I can offer for this is that I seem to be getting used to the extreme weirdness of things here, therefore they seem less worthy of documentation. I know that this is not true, but that's all I got. But there are pictures now! Many pictures. Hopefully videos coming soon, stay tuned.
I just returned home from a sushi dinner at Sushi Express with the teachers from Head Start. I don't know them as well as I do my own co-workers, but they are all cool kids as well. Celeste is close to my age, from Alberta and speaks flawless Chinese, so I figured that she would be a good friend to have. And I was right, as she provided me with a Halloween costume; she will be going as Rachel Berry and I will go as Sue Sylvester. All I have to do is find a track suit, which will be easy enough, and spend my day berating people. What a glorious Halloween it shall be. I should also get a bullhorn.
John is yet another Englishman who has seemingly been in Tainan forever. He keeps trying to persuade me to go hardcore mountain biking around Jiali and Kaohsiung, but he doesn't understand that although I still enjoy the bicycle, I also don't have any other mode of transportation. So biking in my spare time is still something I leave to the evenings, when it is cool-ish. Not vertically, in the middle of the scorching afternoon. Perhaps in the future.
Kevin is (I'm guessing) from somewhere in the States and is the quietest person ever. How you can be that serious and still be an elementary teacher escapes me. Tim is from California, and I always seem to run into him at the bar. He has the same sense of humour as me, so we get along fine. I sometimes envy that they get to do elementary. But there is good and bad about every teaching age. I'm fine with my little hell-spawn for now. Although they did give me a wicked cold this past week, because they are laden with disease. Why must children be so toxic?
Current music: Warm Heart of Africa by The Very Best
Jump Start goes all out for Halloween. The school is decorated down to the last doorway, and they will be holding a pageant thing for the kids to trot around in their costumes in front of their peers, and many parents as well. They felt the need to stress to us not to dress up as anything too scary for the children, and then proceeded to display bloody scream masks hanging from the ceiling and prop up little toy witches with Freddy Kreuger faces in front of every classroom. So, I've decided to ignore this advice even more than I ignore all advice that I get from management.
I made the mistake of using one of the demon witches to scare my babies one day. Now they are all in a constant state of terror every time they pass by the toy. Though I often use this fear to scare them into compliance. Be quiet or the witch will eat you. I sense future lifelong fears a-growing. Maybe I have a sadistic kindergarten teacher to blame for my irrational fear of clowns. We'll never know.
Ok, I'm going to be honest about where my weekends have gone. The bars here do not close. Ever. As long as there are people in them, they stay open. So, last call does not exist. I have previously been out at The Armory, the local foreigner pub, until 7am. Therefore, this weekend is going to be extremely low-key, so I can rest. I may be going to Taichung tomorrow with Sonja. Apparently, there is some kind of jazz festival going on, and I love jazz.
Current music: Cherry Bomb by The Runaways
I taught my big kids to sing Do-Re-Mi a few weeks ago, due to my recent goal to be Julie Andrews. On the CD I use for that song, this song is immediately followed by Stop by the Spice Girls. Remarkably, one of my kids already knows it. Or at least random noises in the rhythm of it. So, I had no choice but to teach them all to say random noises to the beat of Stop. It was one of the most epic things I have ever seen. My twelve-year-old self would love me right now.
Thing I miss of the day: Nick...I get to Skype with you tomorrow! Excitement!
I'm drinking a weird Japanese beer called Asahi right now, and it's pretty damn good. No reason to throw that in there, but it needed to be said. Daniel told me that it's going to storm this weekend, he had better be lying.
Goodnight.
P.S. I shall do my best not to be so negligent in future times.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Current music: Merry Happy by Kate Nash
I finally found out how to put up pictures. The short answer: a flash drive and someone else's Internet connection. They will all gradually get up there.If I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll put captions.
My first and hopefully last PTA was on Tuesday night. It was an interesting experience to sit in front of a room full of parents of young children, most of whom do not speak English, and tell them what their tuition money is being spent on. Everything that I said had to be translated, which was hilarious in itself. But for the most part, as expected, the parents were extremely gracious to my face.
It's another experience to try to explain to a parent why her 3 year old child sometimes has trouble concentrating. The answer is because she's three. But parents that are paying money for pre-education can't hear that. So, I lie and say its based on external things.
I have to go pick up my BBQ tonight. I bought it from a nice couple who are leaving to go home to Canada. The wife is from Newfoundland and has been here for six years. It must be crazy to try to adapt to going back. I can't even think that far ahead yet.
Jump Start is taking a schoolwide field trip to the zoo next week. I think I am more excited than my kids are. I love zoos, and zoos here are probably three times as awesome.
I keep debating whether or not I should get a dog. Or whether or not I should catch a lizard to keep as a pet. There are lizards everywhere and I like them because they eat bugs...and bugs can sometimes be a problem. I haven't seen a giant spider yet, but Elyssa has. The lizards aren't as big as the ones in Costa Rica, but they are everywhere.
I have to come up with some ideas for my Christmas show. I am seriously considering writing something about Christmas hobgoblins, but I am completely sure that only my little brother would find that funny. The public speaking abilities of my children worry me.
The typhoon that hit here moved on to China where it killed seventy something people. I heard of only one death in Taiwan. I guess we got off easy, relatively speaking. The damage is still everywhere.
Thing I miss of the day: Ketchup chips. It seems all the chip flavors here are based on meat or fish products. Seriously. There are prawn flavored pringles and sushi flavored kettle chips.
Sidenote: Sonja showed me a fantastic sushi place that I'm going to live at.
I have nothing else to say.
I finally found out how to put up pictures. The short answer: a flash drive and someone else's Internet connection. They will all gradually get up there.If I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll put captions.
My first and hopefully last PTA was on Tuesday night. It was an interesting experience to sit in front of a room full of parents of young children, most of whom do not speak English, and tell them what their tuition money is being spent on. Everything that I said had to be translated, which was hilarious in itself. But for the most part, as expected, the parents were extremely gracious to my face.
It's another experience to try to explain to a parent why her 3 year old child sometimes has trouble concentrating. The answer is because she's three. But parents that are paying money for pre-education can't hear that. So, I lie and say its based on external things.
I have to go pick up my BBQ tonight. I bought it from a nice couple who are leaving to go home to Canada. The wife is from Newfoundland and has been here for six years. It must be crazy to try to adapt to going back. I can't even think that far ahead yet.
Jump Start is taking a schoolwide field trip to the zoo next week. I think I am more excited than my kids are. I love zoos, and zoos here are probably three times as awesome.
I keep debating whether or not I should get a dog. Or whether or not I should catch a lizard to keep as a pet. There are lizards everywhere and I like them because they eat bugs...and bugs can sometimes be a problem. I haven't seen a giant spider yet, but Elyssa has. The lizards aren't as big as the ones in Costa Rica, but they are everywhere.
I have to come up with some ideas for my Christmas show. I am seriously considering writing something about Christmas hobgoblins, but I am completely sure that only my little brother would find that funny. The public speaking abilities of my children worry me.
The typhoon that hit here moved on to China where it killed seventy something people. I heard of only one death in Taiwan. I guess we got off easy, relatively speaking. The damage is still everywhere.
Thing I miss of the day: Ketchup chips. It seems all the chip flavors here are based on meat or fish products. Seriously. There are prawn flavored pringles and sushi flavored kettle chips.
Sidenote: Sonja showed me a fantastic sushi place that I'm going to live at.
I have nothing else to say.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sit back and wait through the daylight
Current music: Sun Hands by Local Natives
It's already hot as hell out and it's 9:30 in the morning. It's gonna be a bad one today. Thank goodness everywhere I need to go has AC.
I have a conversation partner that am going to meet today. She is a local Taiwanese girl that wants to improve her English skills. I am a foreign Canadian crazy person that wants to get any Chinese skills. It's a match made in heaven. Hopefully I can learn to say something besides the random scattered words that I know...they can't even make a feasible sentence.
I'm getting antsy because I don't have a scooter yet. Elyssa found one where the papers don't need to be transferred right away, and I'm insanely jealous. I don't dislike biking to school, I've gotten used to it. Daniel showed me a fantastic bike path yesterday that goes right past these amazing fish farms. I'm going to bring my camera on Monday and take pictures. Plus, it cuts about 10 minutes off my drive, and there's no traffic. Which is amazing, as traffic is scary. I almost get clipped on a regular basis by the damn scooters.
My PTA is on Tuesday. Basically, my kids' parents come and scrutinize every decision that I've made thus far. The worst part is that they all will probably be polite to me, but will discuss their problems with Vera, my Chinese teacher, and I don't want her to have to deal with it. That's a PTA though. It's impossible to please everyone. Peet tells me not to worry so much. All I need to do is make sure that my rooms are colourful.
Hopey had a BBQ on Moon Festival, which apparently is the thing to do on Moon Festival. Barbecues and fireworks and drinking...it's like Canada day or May 24 on crack. We also went bowling, and I remembered that I can't bowl for real. Wii bowling, forget about it. Hopey's girlfriend Milla drove me there in an actual car, and I can't fathom ever driving a car here. She's a lovely Taiwanese girl who works in cosmetics and showed me how using acupuncture on your ear can cure different ailments. Basically you just stick little needles in different parts of your ear, and they look like earrings. She's going to bring me a set the next time she comes down from Taichung.
I tried bamboo for the first time, and it turns out it's delicious. I probably ended up having more bamboo than actual food. Barbecues in Taiwan are amazing.
Current music: Alternative Ulster by the Stiff Little Fingers
It's someone else's birthday party tonight, so Amanda tells me we're going out clubbing again. I never really know whose birthday I'm celebrating at these events, but it never really matters. The point is, I love the beer here.
My balcony is almost ready to entertain on. I bought a little barbecue for it. I'm going to have a killer balcony when it's done. I found a little plant shop for as to furnish it. Once I figure out why pictures aren't working on my godawful Internet connection, all shall be seen.
No more typing. I'm going to make coffee. I bought a coffeemaker too. It's the best purchase I've made thus far.
Thing I miss of the day: Tim Hortons.
Off to sit outside and drinks my coffee. Which thankfully is basically the same word in Mandarin.
It's already hot as hell out and it's 9:30 in the morning. It's gonna be a bad one today. Thank goodness everywhere I need to go has AC.
I have a conversation partner that am going to meet today. She is a local Taiwanese girl that wants to improve her English skills. I am a foreign Canadian crazy person that wants to get any Chinese skills. It's a match made in heaven. Hopefully I can learn to say something besides the random scattered words that I know...they can't even make a feasible sentence.
I'm getting antsy because I don't have a scooter yet. Elyssa found one where the papers don't need to be transferred right away, and I'm insanely jealous. I don't dislike biking to school, I've gotten used to it. Daniel showed me a fantastic bike path yesterday that goes right past these amazing fish farms. I'm going to bring my camera on Monday and take pictures. Plus, it cuts about 10 minutes off my drive, and there's no traffic. Which is amazing, as traffic is scary. I almost get clipped on a regular basis by the damn scooters.
My PTA is on Tuesday. Basically, my kids' parents come and scrutinize every decision that I've made thus far. The worst part is that they all will probably be polite to me, but will discuss their problems with Vera, my Chinese teacher, and I don't want her to have to deal with it. That's a PTA though. It's impossible to please everyone. Peet tells me not to worry so much. All I need to do is make sure that my rooms are colourful.
Hopey had a BBQ on Moon Festival, which apparently is the thing to do on Moon Festival. Barbecues and fireworks and drinking...it's like Canada day or May 24 on crack. We also went bowling, and I remembered that I can't bowl for real. Wii bowling, forget about it. Hopey's girlfriend Milla drove me there in an actual car, and I can't fathom ever driving a car here. She's a lovely Taiwanese girl who works in cosmetics and showed me how using acupuncture on your ear can cure different ailments. Basically you just stick little needles in different parts of your ear, and they look like earrings. She's going to bring me a set the next time she comes down from Taichung.
I tried bamboo for the first time, and it turns out it's delicious. I probably ended up having more bamboo than actual food. Barbecues in Taiwan are amazing.
Current music: Alternative Ulster by the Stiff Little Fingers
It's someone else's birthday party tonight, so Amanda tells me we're going out clubbing again. I never really know whose birthday I'm celebrating at these events, but it never really matters. The point is, I love the beer here.
My balcony is almost ready to entertain on. I bought a little barbecue for it. I'm going to have a killer balcony when it's done. I found a little plant shop for as to furnish it. Once I figure out why pictures aren't working on my godawful Internet connection, all shall be seen.
No more typing. I'm going to make coffee. I bought a coffeemaker too. It's the best purchase I've made thus far.
Thing I miss of the day: Tim Hortons.
Off to sit outside and drinks my coffee. Which thankfully is basically the same word in Mandarin.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Grapefruit moon, one star shining, is all that I can see
Current music: The Getaway by Velveteen
'Tis the night before Moon Festival, my first official holiday in Taiwan. From what I understand, it signifies the night of the year when the moon is its roundest or something. Basically, we all get a day off to look at said moon and eat moon cakes. I actually received a box of moon cakes sent to me by the mother of one of my kids, Evan. The ones I got were kind of like a cold meat pie in pizza pocket form, but smaller. They're not good, but not bad, either. Apparently you can get really really bad ones. I was just happy to get a present. Parents that think bribing your kids' teacher works: it totally works.
We get tomorrow off, and coupled with yesterday's typhoon day, this week is a three day week. I was actually hoping that today would also be a typhoon day, just for my selfish reason of wanting a five day weekend, but once I saw the real damage that it did today, I'm glad we got off relatively easy.
Current music: Big Me by the Foo Fighters
Although it's hard to say that that was easy. I have never in my life seen a storm like that. It lasted for about 2 days solid. My balcony flooded, and the tiny woodshed that I had out there is now a pile of wood splinters that I now have to carry downstairs piece by piece. I pray that someday my balcony won't be gross looking.
I walked around today during my break and it was crazy to see the damage. Entire trees were uprooted, steel fences were flattened. Peet went for a walk with me, and he told me that this wasn't a small typhoon by any means, but there are far worse, the kind that kill people. I didn't hear of any deaths this time, probably because we had lots of warning. It still rains on and off, and last night, we had a mini thunderstorm. I had a serious case of cabin fever though, so I braved the storm to bike to the bar, and then was scootered to Thai food. It was the second Thai place I've been to since I've been here, and I was most impressed.
I went for a walk for about an hour this evening. I have gotten into the habit of walking up and down the canal each night. Today was different though. Instead of having random fireworks displays, the people set off constant firework displays. All the time. From everywhere. The sky was (and still is) lit up from every direction. I came home and watched them from my balcony for a long time. I met some children on my walk, and they taught me how to fire their weird Roman Candle things into the canal. Children love to talk to me, because they all learn English at their respective schools and love to demonstrate what they know. I often find I break into impromptu English lessons on the street. I should start charging.
Thing(s) I miss of the day: Cat Czyrnyj and Danielle Blab. Both have just promised to come visit me in the future. And they better. Or pain.
I get to sleep in tomorrow. Hopey is having a BBQ tomorrow, I am stoked for some beer and barbecue. He also challenged me to Mariokart on Wii. And its on.
Off to read, then sleep.
'Tis the night before Moon Festival, my first official holiday in Taiwan. From what I understand, it signifies the night of the year when the moon is its roundest or something. Basically, we all get a day off to look at said moon and eat moon cakes. I actually received a box of moon cakes sent to me by the mother of one of my kids, Evan. The ones I got were kind of like a cold meat pie in pizza pocket form, but smaller. They're not good, but not bad, either. Apparently you can get really really bad ones. I was just happy to get a present. Parents that think bribing your kids' teacher works: it totally works.
We get tomorrow off, and coupled with yesterday's typhoon day, this week is a three day week. I was actually hoping that today would also be a typhoon day, just for my selfish reason of wanting a five day weekend, but once I saw the real damage that it did today, I'm glad we got off relatively easy.
Current music: Big Me by the Foo Fighters
Although it's hard to say that that was easy. I have never in my life seen a storm like that. It lasted for about 2 days solid. My balcony flooded, and the tiny woodshed that I had out there is now a pile of wood splinters that I now have to carry downstairs piece by piece. I pray that someday my balcony won't be gross looking.
I walked around today during my break and it was crazy to see the damage. Entire trees were uprooted, steel fences were flattened. Peet went for a walk with me, and he told me that this wasn't a small typhoon by any means, but there are far worse, the kind that kill people. I didn't hear of any deaths this time, probably because we had lots of warning. It still rains on and off, and last night, we had a mini thunderstorm. I had a serious case of cabin fever though, so I braved the storm to bike to the bar, and then was scootered to Thai food. It was the second Thai place I've been to since I've been here, and I was most impressed.
I went for a walk for about an hour this evening. I have gotten into the habit of walking up and down the canal each night. Today was different though. Instead of having random fireworks displays, the people set off constant firework displays. All the time. From everywhere. The sky was (and still is) lit up from every direction. I came home and watched them from my balcony for a long time. I met some children on my walk, and they taught me how to fire their weird Roman Candle things into the canal. Children love to talk to me, because they all learn English at their respective schools and love to demonstrate what they know. I often find I break into impromptu English lessons on the street. I should start charging.
Thing(s) I miss of the day: Cat Czyrnyj and Danielle Blab. Both have just promised to come visit me in the future. And they better. Or pain.
I get to sleep in tomorrow. Hopey is having a BBQ tomorrow, I am stoked for some beer and barbecue. He also challenged me to Mariokart on Wii. And its on.
Off to read, then sleep.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Current music: Ambling Alp by Yeasayer
I have Internet now! And it sometimes works. It was hilarious getting it set up, as the installer man did not speak a word of English, and I don't speak a word of Chinese, save for a few random words that have nothing to do with the situation. I suppose I could have said that to him, but it would have made no sense.
I was forced to call upon one of the security guards in my building, who thankfully speaks very broken English. He has been my savior many times in the past week, and I just learned today that his name was Simon. He is a funny little man that is way too defensive about his English skills. I constantly tell him that he speaks very well, and he starts laughing and denies it, today he even fell down in protest. He is just one example of the Taiwanese hospitality that I have been told about. People say that Canadians are nice. We have nothing on the Taiwanese.
I was debating on going to the pub tonight, but during the past week, everyone has predicted an epic typhoon that looks like its about to hit as I type this. The sky blackened in the past ten minutes. I'm stoked that I got home, as I was out shopping before, and I do not fancy biking in it. I biked home during the last typhoon and almost died.
Speaking of the pub. Willy's. The place to be in Tainan. They have pizza. Westerners have no idea what it means to have good pizza here. And Willy's pizza is good. Very good.
The bar is owned by an Englishman named Andy and a Welshman named Alun. I met Andy last night and told him that I would most likely be living at his bar. He was cool with it.
Current music: Black Steel by Tricky
The foreigners in Tainan also all hang out at Willys. All the time. Sonya and I went for a drink yesterday, and pretty much everyone that was in the bar was at the party on Saturday night. It's kind of funny how small this city is.
I realize that I have written very little about my job. Things are going very well, I have the kind of freedom that I would not have at home. I have a curriculum, but I don't really follow it. I still love my kids, for the most part. There are some days when I have to hold myself back from backhanding them. This is where the Chinese teachers come in.
Vera and Joan (pronounced Joanne) are my eyes and ears and occasionally my asskicking boot in both classrooms. One sentence from them spoken in harsh Chinese and my kids shut the hell up. It's glorious. I've had to yell at them a few times myself. I hate doing it, because I honestly don't care if they run around like monkeys, but apparently the school does. The kids hate it when I yell, they call me Monster Jess.
The babies have just learned to say their own names. I have never been prouder of them. Every two weeks, the bilingual classes have an assembly where they demonstrate what they have been learning lately, whether it be a song or whatever. And my babies didn't fuck up. It was basically my proof for Peet that I can teach like the best of them. Whenever they do something right, they are rewarded with a high five from me, and they love high fiving. I have Ben to thank for that, he taught them last year. I have been trying to teach them to high five each other, but they usually end up smacking each other in the face, because they have no coordination yet. It's the funniest thing ever. And it seems that I am unintentionally teaching violence as a reward. I'm alright with that.
Current music: Master of Puppets by Metallica
The Bi-5 class, which I call the 'munchkins' and occasionally 'oompa loompas,' try to push my limits. That's why I have Jess's patented X and smiley face system. It works like a charm. On most. One is immune to it, so all I have to do is threaten to make him run laps in the sun. The textbooks they gave me have the theme of Jack and the beanstalk, which makes no sense, because I highly doubt that native-speaking kids of that age would understand that story, let alone my kids, who can't read "magic beans" let alone understand what they are. But I digress again.
It is not legal for ex-pats to teach kindergarten English in Taiwan. Unofficially, every primary school does it. However, if anyone from the government shows up at the school and finds foreigners there, the school can get fined. Les told me that it is possible to deport you as well, but they probably wouldn't. Anyways, Jump Start has an alarm system for when these raids take place, which sounds like birds chirping. The funny thing is, no one told me, or Elyssa for that matter, about the alarm before I heard it. So, on Tuesday, when I heard birds chirping throughout the school, I honestly thought that it was in my head. Having had migraines for so long, you sometimes doubt your own perception of things. Then, the alarm rang for a second time, and I realized it wasn't a hallucination, which was even stranger. After about 2 seconds of me looking confused, Vera pushed me out the door of my classroom, and I saw her hiding my stuff. Hopey ran over to me, and said "We have to go, now." After about 3 seconds of me looking confused, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs of the school. The other English teachers were running out the door, to the section of the campus called Head Start, which is a private elementary school run by the same company. Once we are over there, we are technically not doing anything illegal, but its still not a good idea to be seen. So we had to hang out in a classroom for about 5 minutes, as it wasn't an official raid. Victoria told us that they were just there to pick up papers. Elyssa suspects that it was a drill, and I am inclined to agree.
The alarm sounded again yesterday, which I think may have been a real raid. This time was less confusing, however. It only lasted for about 15 minutes of us reading the newspaper. Apparently, the raids can sometimes last for hours. I do not look forward to that day. Hopey told me to keep my purse by the door, so that next time we can all sneak out and get coffee.
Current music: Love Song by The Cure
I grow weary of typing. This typhoon is supposed to last until Tuesday, and I hope that it does. If school gets canceled, I still get paid. And I can say that it was because of a typhoon day. Snow days be damned. It's really fucking windy. Yet there are still fireworks right now. I imagine that that's very dangerous.
Thing I miss of the day: Autumn. People claim that there are seasons here. They lie.
I'm going to go sit on the balcony until the rain hits.
I have Internet now! And it sometimes works. It was hilarious getting it set up, as the installer man did not speak a word of English, and I don't speak a word of Chinese, save for a few random words that have nothing to do with the situation. I suppose I could have said that to him, but it would have made no sense.
I was forced to call upon one of the security guards in my building, who thankfully speaks very broken English. He has been my savior many times in the past week, and I just learned today that his name was Simon. He is a funny little man that is way too defensive about his English skills. I constantly tell him that he speaks very well, and he starts laughing and denies it, today he even fell down in protest. He is just one example of the Taiwanese hospitality that I have been told about. People say that Canadians are nice. We have nothing on the Taiwanese.
I was debating on going to the pub tonight, but during the past week, everyone has predicted an epic typhoon that looks like its about to hit as I type this. The sky blackened in the past ten minutes. I'm stoked that I got home, as I was out shopping before, and I do not fancy biking in it. I biked home during the last typhoon and almost died.
Speaking of the pub. Willy's. The place to be in Tainan. They have pizza. Westerners have no idea what it means to have good pizza here. And Willy's pizza is good. Very good.
The bar is owned by an Englishman named Andy and a Welshman named Alun. I met Andy last night and told him that I would most likely be living at his bar. He was cool with it.
Current music: Black Steel by Tricky
The foreigners in Tainan also all hang out at Willys. All the time. Sonya and I went for a drink yesterday, and pretty much everyone that was in the bar was at the party on Saturday night. It's kind of funny how small this city is.
I realize that I have written very little about my job. Things are going very well, I have the kind of freedom that I would not have at home. I have a curriculum, but I don't really follow it. I still love my kids, for the most part. There are some days when I have to hold myself back from backhanding them. This is where the Chinese teachers come in.
Vera and Joan (pronounced Joanne) are my eyes and ears and occasionally my asskicking boot in both classrooms. One sentence from them spoken in harsh Chinese and my kids shut the hell up. It's glorious. I've had to yell at them a few times myself. I hate doing it, because I honestly don't care if they run around like monkeys, but apparently the school does. The kids hate it when I yell, they call me Monster Jess.
The babies have just learned to say their own names. I have never been prouder of them. Every two weeks, the bilingual classes have an assembly where they demonstrate what they have been learning lately, whether it be a song or whatever. And my babies didn't fuck up. It was basically my proof for Peet that I can teach like the best of them. Whenever they do something right, they are rewarded with a high five from me, and they love high fiving. I have Ben to thank for that, he taught them last year. I have been trying to teach them to high five each other, but they usually end up smacking each other in the face, because they have no coordination yet. It's the funniest thing ever. And it seems that I am unintentionally teaching violence as a reward. I'm alright with that.
Current music: Master of Puppets by Metallica
The Bi-5 class, which I call the 'munchkins' and occasionally 'oompa loompas,' try to push my limits. That's why I have Jess's patented X and smiley face system. It works like a charm. On most. One is immune to it, so all I have to do is threaten to make him run laps in the sun. The textbooks they gave me have the theme of Jack and the beanstalk, which makes no sense, because I highly doubt that native-speaking kids of that age would understand that story, let alone my kids, who can't read "magic beans" let alone understand what they are. But I digress again.
It is not legal for ex-pats to teach kindergarten English in Taiwan. Unofficially, every primary school does it. However, if anyone from the government shows up at the school and finds foreigners there, the school can get fined. Les told me that it is possible to deport you as well, but they probably wouldn't. Anyways, Jump Start has an alarm system for when these raids take place, which sounds like birds chirping. The funny thing is, no one told me, or Elyssa for that matter, about the alarm before I heard it. So, on Tuesday, when I heard birds chirping throughout the school, I honestly thought that it was in my head. Having had migraines for so long, you sometimes doubt your own perception of things. Then, the alarm rang for a second time, and I realized it wasn't a hallucination, which was even stranger. After about 2 seconds of me looking confused, Vera pushed me out the door of my classroom, and I saw her hiding my stuff. Hopey ran over to me, and said "We have to go, now." After about 3 seconds of me looking confused, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs of the school. The other English teachers were running out the door, to the section of the campus called Head Start, which is a private elementary school run by the same company. Once we are over there, we are technically not doing anything illegal, but its still not a good idea to be seen. So we had to hang out in a classroom for about 5 minutes, as it wasn't an official raid. Victoria told us that they were just there to pick up papers. Elyssa suspects that it was a drill, and I am inclined to agree.
The alarm sounded again yesterday, which I think may have been a real raid. This time was less confusing, however. It only lasted for about 15 minutes of us reading the newspaper. Apparently, the raids can sometimes last for hours. I do not look forward to that day. Hopey told me to keep my purse by the door, so that next time we can all sneak out and get coffee.
Current music: Love Song by The Cure
I grow weary of typing. This typhoon is supposed to last until Tuesday, and I hope that it does. If school gets canceled, I still get paid. And I can say that it was because of a typhoon day. Snow days be damned. It's really fucking windy. Yet there are still fireworks right now. I imagine that that's very dangerous.
Thing I miss of the day: Autumn. People claim that there are seasons here. They lie.
I'm going to go sit on the balcony until the rain hits.
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